How do I find a dinosaur? I just wanna get rich so a dinosaur would solve all my problems.

I answer this question with a certain trepidation, knowing the answer could engender a pandemic, a mania of dinosaur speculation on a historic (or should I say pre-historic) level; but yes, I do know where a dinosaur may be found.

I dare not state in this very public forum where the gigantic, human-gobbling, bestial behemoth is at this very moment (and, of course, I wouldn’t be willing to divulge its location without remuneration of any kind). But I will say that the logistics of any transaction involving my relinquishing this information and the subsequent enrichment you envision at possessing it would need to be reversed. You must first get rich and then be willing to share your new-found wealth with me (at a very reasonable rate, not a forfeiture by any means) then, at some point subsequent to the sharing of your monetary caboodle, will I impart the knowledge you so richly deserve.

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